Relationships and Compromises - A conundrum

Had written this earlier – different shit from what I usually write! Please do bear with me!

Why are human relationships so difficult? I am not just referring to a relationship between partners, but every single one of them – with friends (doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman), with parents, with siblings, with co-workers, with bosses (and this certainly differs with the sex of the boss and either can be difficult or easy).

Every relationship needs care and has to come from both the parties involved and my personal take on why relationships are difficult is that it is because of our system of beliefs that we are brought up with, initially by our parents and later on predominantly with friends.

This has a lot to do with the fact that each person is different, has different needs, aspirations, and goals in life. I might have become cynical, but I think that they will never match with anyone else, ever. All we need to do is ensure that we at least make an effort to walk part of the way to meet the other person and it can never happen if the other person refuses to do so – lets not fool ourselves, but everyone one of us has a certain amount of a narcissistic streak in us, which leads us to believe that “I” am most important. This is not even a function of age of the individuals involved – in fact, if truth be told, as ones children grow older and become responsible (there are exceptions), the streak becomes even more prominent – maybe it is the fear of death and the realization that “I” have not got enough of what “I” thought “I” should have achieved. This is what makes them even more difficult because I believe that individuals are less open to change in the latter part of ones lives.

So what happens next? We compromise with our own set of beliefs hoping that the other person also will do the same with theirs and try and move ahead. Funny thing is we end up thinking that this is precisely what “I” have done for the majority of my life – so when will this end? The answer is simple – NEVER. We humans are social animals and no one likes to be alone – we tend to want people around us all the time – why else would we want to invite people when someone is born or gets married or dies? We need support and that very support system comes with baggage which we call compromise.

The question we need to ask ourselves – is it worth all the trouble? There is, unfortunately, no answer that will satisfy everyone. Everyone’s capability to handle compromise is different. Love is what drives us to compromise and falling out of love drives us to, eventually, end the relationship.

We need to be able to make a decision on what is more important – salvaging the relationship or satiating our ego. This, my friend, is never easy because you are fighting with the self.

Carole Middleton: Is being ambitious a sin?

So while I am in the UK, the big news right now, is the fact that Prince William has broken up with Kate Middleton because of her “middle-class” upbringing.

This is indeed sad.

Most royal analysts are placing the blame squarely on Kate’s mother Carole Middleton. She is said to have willingly pushed Kate into joining St. Andrews where William had enrolled, though statistics have shown that the number of women joining St. Andrews did actually go up once Prince William had announced that he would be studying there. So along with other girls Kate also joined.

Carole is also being vilified for being a social climber because she made Kate join St. Andrews. We know this now, because Kate did actually see Prince William, but do we for how many other girls, this is true? We never will know, will we?

What I truly do not understand why is someone getting crucified for having an ambition? Can you name one person on this planet who does not want to rise above his station? Can you name one person who does not have a burning ambition to do something with their life – some want to become doctors, others want to become rich, and some want to become philanthropists and others want to climb the social ladder. So what is wrong with that? Carole tried and failed – Give her that much – she tried – most of us would not even try and give up and that, as far as I am concerned, is a much bigger sin than having an ambition! In any case, Princess Diana's father had said that he and his family was ostracized after she married Prince Charles, so Carole would not even have benefited as far as climbing the social ladder is concerned!

Remember, Carole actually did it for her child – parents generally want to do something for their offspring and Carole was no different! If a parent donates a kidney to his child to save his life, becomes a hero and a parent wanting a better life for her daughter becomes a vamp? Is there no consistency while judging parents?

My take on this: Leave them alone – Kate is still very young – she has a long life ahead and she can yet make a huge success out of it. As far as Carole is concerned – my kudos to you – you did what you had to do!